A worksheet for moving from the smallest help to larger steps, one rung at a time, when your parent isn’t ready to accept much.
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2 pages, ready to print on standard letter paper.
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What’s on it
- A ladder of help, from the smallest step up, with examples for each rung
- Your parent’s answer and the date, a trial end date, and who could suggest each step
- What your parent has said no to, and why, and what they might say yes to
- The line you agreed on that would start the next conversation
- Signs that would mean you need outside help now
- Help for you
How to use it
Start at the bottom. Keep track of what’s been offered, what your parent has agreed to and what to try next. Each rung has a trial end date, so new help can start as a trial.
If your parent is in danger, call 911. If you’re worried about abuse, neglect or serious self-neglect, Adult Protective Services can help; the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, can connect you.
Where it comes from
This tool comes from Chapter 5, “When a Parent Refuses Help,” of When Mom or Dad Can No Longer Manage Alone by Mark Duda. The chapter covers what to do when a parent refuses help.
Related reading on this site
All 18 tools from the book are on the printable tools page.
The tools may be printed and copied for personal use within your own family. They are not medical, legal or financial advice.