How Much Help Does She Actually Need?

Most families know something is wrong before they can say what. She’s fine, mostly. She’s managing. But you left her house last Sunday with a feeling you couldn’t name.

What this is

This is the assessment a visiting nurse runs on a first home visit — the same activities-of-daily-living framework used across home health and long-term care. Fourteen questions. About ten minutes.

At the end you’ll know how much help she actually needs, in hours, and what kind. Not a feeling. A number you can say out loud to a doctor, a sibling, or an agency.

Before you start

Answer honestly rather than generously. Most people overestimate how well a parent is coping — because that’s the answer they want to be true, and because she has been managing it in front of you for years.

It is free. Nothing is stored. Nobody calls you.

At the end, you get this:

“She needs a paid aide, most days, for real hands-on help.”

Level of help: Substantial
Hours a week: 20–40
Hands-on needs: 3 of 6

A sentence you can say out loud. Not a score. Not a feeling.

Nothing here is sent anywhere unless you ask. No account, no email, no tracking. Your answers stay in this browser window and disappear when you close it. Print the results if you want to keep them.
Progress 0 of 14 answered
01

Taking care of herself

Clinicians call these the activities of daily living — the six things a person has to manage to live alone safely. This section carries the most weight. Needing hands-on help here is what separates “a bit of company” from “a paid aide.”

02

Running a household

The instrumental activities. These usually slip first — often years before anyone notices — because they are easy to hide and easy to explain away. Unpaid bills and a fridge full of expired food tell you more than most doctor’s visits do.

03

Things that change the answer

Any one of these outranks everything above it. Tick anything that has happened in the last six months — even once, even if it seemed like nothing at the time.

What Medicare will and won’t send to the house

Home health and palliative care are not the same thing, they are paid for differently, and neither one puts a person in the house overnight. CMS just proposed a change that is about to make this more confusing, not less.

Read the honest version →

This checklist is built on the activities-of-daily-living framework used across home health and long-term care. It is a starting point for a conversation — with a doctor, a family, or an agency — not a clinical assessment, a diagnosis, or a determination of eligibility for any benefit program. Only a clinician who has examined the person can do that. See our disclaimers.

Know someone who needs this?

Pass it along — it’s free, and it might be exactly what a family you know is searching for right now.

Need help at home? Straight answers on finding, vetting, and hiring an aide. Find an Aide